If we are indeed supposed to focus on the NOW within in order to create the future without, shouldn't we stop chasing the "end of days to save us all" (awaken the many) scenario? Even if we do tend to get a little excited that "something" is coming, are we inviting just such a scenario? Perhaps it will take an "end of days" event in order for change to happen; does that mean the over-population folks get their way and that the "Prepper" will be the survivor? And what happens next? I'll bet it's the same-old, same-old but with more "controls" and "security" after all, we live by the "rule of law".
Perhaps I am a bit cynical; I did witness throughout my "awakening" (not a word I enjoy) that at first there were not many of us (and by "us", I include myself in the loosest sense), then it was saturated by conspiracy theorists (be them conspiracy fact or not, people got lost in it), then the "Truther Movement" which seemed to revel in the finding of conspiracies which could have blame attached (especially Israel) through study and repetition and finally the esoteric movement which tells us that we are at a "great time" in human history (that history is still in the future) and that many are "awakening" (there is that word again) and "change" is coming (sounds a lot like Obama) in the form of a "shift". If I left out an awakening demographic I do apologize.
So where do I go? What do I believe? It seems a lot safer with that "within and without" thing which I mentioned earlier. Sure it's "esoteric" but at least it relies on "me" and those which are affected by "me". This way I can see the "changes" and I can gauge the "awakening". But, is "me" lost? Am I solely a product of my environment? Am I chasing down the same rabbit holes expecting to come out with a salmon? Am I just following the same memes of distrust and separation?
Do I follow or do I lead myself? This is not to imply that I would be party to a "every man for himself" situation; this is not an "alone" thing. Then again in a way it is. Having to see myself in the raw is excruciating; for the ego hurts you as you make it less important. Some say that one has to destroy the ego but this is but a fools dream, for the ego is a part of me whether I like it or not. I will, however, not (or at least view and learn from it) let the ego control me. That is all I can do in order to get to the within which supposedly controls the without.
So, do I lash out? Do I hate the "rulers", the "controllers"? Do I allow a without to dictate my emotions of ego? If we are truly energy in a universe of ever expanding energy, shouldn't I let things go? Perhaps I am to believe that halting the expansion of my energy on someone which has halted theirs is a good idea.
As I travel within to an awareness which dictates that I profess my ignorance, I struggle. I try to hold onto the last vestiges of the "life" which I called mine only to find it was really someone else's; even if they are long dead and beyond my punishment. What does that do to my ego knowing that I cannot punish a "wrong-doer"? It certainly writhes and searches for something more "recent" which the focus can be directed upon but I gotcha. Another lesson learned, I guess. It didn't seem too harsh but you should have been inside my head at the time; perhaps you would have changed your mind.
My first instinct tells me to "run and hide" the second to "stand and fight"; is there a third? Have I totally been conditioned to not even be able to "imagine" a third, imagination, in its pure form outside the ego?. Has it been so well conditioned that it shall remain dormant forever? Change is not change without imagination.
Tick-tock, tick-tong - time is running out. For whom? For the ego or for the self? Is it my body or is it my soul they are coming for? In a universe of infinite energy and being part of that, the "feeling" that something is "wrong" moves forward. Perhaps we won't be here to witness the "change" or "ascension" but what we can witness is ourselves as we become superior to our former selves (thanks Hemmingway).
Now, don't get me wrong but if you do perhaps look inwards (like the monk which makes us wait - sometimes we just are not ready) for I don't mean anything "personal" as these are just my thoughts exploding into view. One thing which I have noticed which spans all the "awakening" crowd is that they still tend to get "touchy" at times. Thoughts are thoughts and ideas and more of the same. Touchy is a "reaction" which perhaps is meant to block thoughts - but who am I to say that?